Annual Meeting - Dr. Bernard Mayer , Presenter - 03.03.17

 Annual Business Meeting
Advanced Skills Training Workshop


The Conflict Paradox:

The Dilemmas and Contradictions that Define our  Work

(and our Lives).

MARCH 3 2017

APPROVED:   4.75 General CME; 1.25 Mediation Ethics

APPROVED:   4.75 General CLE;  1.25 Dual CLE  

Lipscomb University
Institute for Conflict Management
Ezell Center – Room 363
One University Park Dr., Nashville, Tennessee 37204



TAPM Presentation of the 2017 Grayfred Gray Award


Linda Seely

During the Luncheon Hour


Linda Warren Seely is the newly appointed Director of the American Bar Association Dispute Resolution Section. She is a licensed attorney in Tennessee as well as a Rule 31 Listed Mediator with the Tennessee Supreme Court. She is a Board Member of the CommunityJustice & MediationCenter in Memphis, Tennessee. She served on the Tennessee Supreme Court’s Access To Justice Commission’s Mediation, Faith Based and Pro Bono subcommittees and most recently on the Tennessee Bar Foundation’s Board of Trustees. Ms. Seely served as Director of Pro Bono Projects for Memphis Area Legal Services from 2004 to 2015 when she became the Director of the Campaign for Equal Justice with Memphis Area Legal Services.  Additionally, she served as President for the Memphis Bar Association in 2013.  Most recently, Ms. Seely was elected as a member of the Board of Directors of the CASA program in MadisonCounty.  She also serves in the House of Delegates for the Tennessee Bar Association and as President of the Board of Directors for the Association of Women Attorneys Foundation


Bernie Mayer, Ph.D.

Bernie Mayer, Ph.D., Professor of Dispute Resolution, The Werner Institute, Creighton University, is a leader in the field of conflict resolution.  Bernie has worked in child welfare, mental health, substance abuse treatment, and psychotherapy.  As a founding partner of CDR Associates, Bernie has provided conflict intervention for families, communities, universities, corporations, and governmental agencies throughout North America and internationally for over 35 years. Bernie’s latest book (2015) is The Conflict Paradox, Seven Dilemmas at the Core of Disputes.  Earlier books include: The Dynamics of Conflict, Beyond Neutrality, and Staying With Conflict. Bernie is the recipient of the 2015 John M. Haynes Distinguished Mediator Award, presented by the Association for Conflict Resolution and the 2013 President’s Award presented by the Association of Family Conciliation Courts.




As we develop into experienced and reflective conflict practitioners, we repeatedly encounter a core challenge that presents itself in many different guises. How can we work with the contradictions and dilemmas that are at the heart of conflict? For example how can we help disputants find better ways to compete and to cooperate, to advocate and to listen, to remain optimistic and to be realistic, to engage in conflict—and prevent it, to remain true to their principles and yet to compromise, to promote peace and social change? We often believe we have to choose between these apparent contradictions, but in reality we all need to embrace both elements of these dilemmas.  We need to proceed with a broad acceptance of the truth in the contradictions themselves.  Our ability to do so is the essence of the conflict intervener’s art.    In this seminar, I will discuss this challenge and look at seven key dilemmas that define our work—and our lives—and we will look at how this affects everything we do as mediators and conflict interveners.


Learning Objectives

  • Participants will develop insight into the role of paradox in conflict intervention
  • Participants will become familiar with seven key dilemmas that both disputants and interveners face in how they approach conflict
  • Participants will consider how to help disputants to cooperate and compete at the same time.
  • Participants will  consider strategies for helping disputants act in a principled way even as they consider how to compromise

Participants will increase their appreciation for the twin pulls toward community and autonomy as a central dynamic in conflict intervention.


The Conflict Paradox: The Dilemmas and Contradictions that Define our Work

(and our Lives)








8:00 AM-9:00 AM

Registration & Continental Breakfast




9:00 AM-10:30 AM

Welcome and introductions

How we make sense of conflict

Cooperation and competition: an evolutionary perspective




General CLE/CME


10:30 AM-10:45 AM

Morning Break




10:45 AM-12:30 PM

Seven dilemmas at the core of conflict

Optimism and realism in the face of conflict

Case application





12:30 PM-1:30 PM

The Grayfred Gray Award will be presented to Linda Seely of Jackson,TN




1:30 PM-2:45 PM

A principled approach to compromise (from Iran to divorce)

Working with logic and emotions—what neuroscience tells us

Applying the paradoxical challenge to practice (fish bowl)



Dual  CLE


CME Ethics


2:45 PM-3:00 PM

Afternoon Break




3:00 PM-3:45 PM

The dance of identity:  autonomy and attachment

Better paradoxes for better conflict intervention

Application to practice (small group work)






3:45 PM-4:30 PM

Staying with conflict:  working with ongoing conflicts in a short term context

Wrap up, next steps, evaluation












4.75 General
1.25 Dual CLE/ Mediation Ethics


REGISTRATION AFTER February 17, 2017

1.  Renewing Annual Dues or Joining TAPM for the first time:

          $100.00 Annual Dues
           $200.00 CLE/CME Fee
           $300.00 Total Due   

2.    TAPM Member (dues are current)
        $200 CLE/CME Fee

3.    Associate Member Renewing Annual Dues or Joining TAPM
         $200.00 CLE/CME Fee
         $ 50.00 Annual Dues Renewal
         $250.00 Total due

4.       NON TAPM Member
          $350.00 CLE/CME Fee Due

5.      TAPM Business Luncheon Only
LATE REGISTRATION AFTER   February 17, 2017:  $50.00 Fee added to CLE/CME Fee

PARTIAL REFUNDS WILL BE GIVEN IF REQUESTED  ON OR BEFORE February 17, 2017 -  a $25.00 handling fee will be deducted from the refund.


P. O. BOX 150626
NASHILLE, TN  37215-0626
Phone: 615-498-1005    (Lisa Smith – Administrator)



Registration After 2/17/17